John, Ed, Kyle and Schro on Political Correctness
by mastermind123
Summary: Ever since my other story,Cyclonian Public Enemies started, my OC's have been pretty nasty when it come to manners. Let's see if the newest OC to join the group, Adelchi Schrodinger, is up for the challenge to teach them some political correctness.


**( Hey folks, as I said in the summary, my OC's have been very incorrect with their actions. Let's see what happens when the newest OC to join the group, Adelchi Schrodinger, tries to teach them manners. Oh, and happy early birthday Hawk. This is just a oneshot thought that I had while I was having some writer's block for Cyclonian Public Enemies.)**

**Stijena Glava Prison.  
**

Johnathon, Edward, Kyle, Desmond and Fagan walked down a narrow catwalk to a jail cell. Each had gotten a special invitation to something very special. Apparently, Adelchi was throwing them a party of sorts, kind of as a thank you to Edward for not killing him. Edward arrived at the cell first and opened it. When he walked inside, he found that the lights had been turned off. Edward Turned on the lights to find a chalk board, and some desks. When everyone walked inside, the door slammed shut, with Adelchi at the handle. He wore a short sleeve white shirt and a pair of black short shorts.

"What the fuck are you doin lad?" asked Edward.

"Vell, after zhe past few chapters of zhe Cyclonian Public Enemies story, our glorious creator, mastermind123, has instructed me vith zhe task of making zhe story more politically correct, you know for zose readers who can't take a joke." said Adelchi.

"Alroight, that answers one question but it raises so many others. For instance, why the hell are ya wearin short shorts lad?" asked Johnathon.

"Because I like to vear zem. Zhy are extremely comfortable unt very easy to get off. Edverd allready knows vhat I mean." said Adelchi. Johnathon looked at Edward.

"It's bad enough that he's Nazi, but really Edward, how the fuck are ya gonna marry him when that particular marrage hasn't been legaloized yet." said Johnathon.

"Johnathon, shut the fuck up, Oi have no oidea what he's talking about." said Edward.

"V'right, now class, if you vould be kind enough to take your seats, ve can begin." said Adelchi, getting a graduates cover on his head and a ruler. Everyone took a seat in front of the board. Kyle immediately put his head down on the desk and tried to take a nap. Adelchi noticed this and walked over to Kyle and smacked the back of his head with the ruler. "No sleeping in zhe class." said Adelchi. He walked over to the chalk board and picked up a peace of chalk.

"Okay, zhe first lesson of political correctness is being able to tolerate ozers zat are around you." said Adelchi.

"Excuse me, but does that count protestant whores?" asked Edward.

"And dirty fascists?" asked Fagan.

"And the fricken illegal border jumpers?" asked Kyle.

"Jawol." said Adelchi. The five "students" all sighed and started to complain. "Silence!" said Adelchi, smacking the board with the ruler. "If you don't stop I vill personally bend each and every vone of you over and shove a long shaft up your ass ends." said Adelchi.

"What a fag." said Desmond. Adelchi threw the piece of chalk in his hand at Desmond.

"Okay, just for zat comment, ve'll start vith you. Desmond Makarov. If I vere to valk up to you unt kiss you, vat vould you do?" said Adelchi.

"Well, that depends. What did I do to get that kind of punishment and how much vodka was I drinking?" asked Desmond.

"You drink?" asked Johnathon.

"Of course, Everyone knows that the Russian drinking age starts at zero. What does the Irish drinking age start at?" asked Desmond.

"Zat ist not zhe point! Vat vould you do to me?" asked Adelchi.

"Well, I would take you back to my cell..."

"Mmm hmm."

"I would close the door..."

"Mmm hmm."

"I would shut out the lights..."

"Mmm hmm."

"I would get a bottle of vodka out..."

"MMM HMM."

"I would break bottle of vodka..."

"Mmm, vait vaat?"

"And I stab you and kill you with broken vodka bottle." said Desmond, going thick on his Russian accent.

"Umm... zen I should probably stay away from you zen." said Adelchi.

"You probably should." said Desmond.

"Okay, umm, how about you Johnison?" asked Adelchi.

"What would I do if you kissed me?" asked Johnathon, in a smooth and lucious tone.

"Ja." said Adelchi, sitting on Johnathon's desk, facing him and spreading his legs wide open.

"Okay, Koile, Edward, Desmond, Fagan, you lads are in charge of my scores." said Johnathon.

"Scores for what?" asked Fagan. Kyle and Edward understood immediately and immediately got out a piece of paper and a pen.

"You guys ready?" asked Johnathon. Kyle and Edward nodded. Johnathon brought his hand back and impaled it between Adelchi's legs. Everyone grimaced and wrote down a number on their papers. Johnathon stood up and took a bow. "Alroight lads can I have my scores please." Kyle lifted his paper and had a 9.3. Edward lifted his and it said 9.5. Desmond and Fagan understood and wrote and lifted up their papers. Both had 9.4. "Alright, not bad." said Johnathon. "Okay Schrody get up." said Johnathon.

Schrodinger held his privates and just twitched into the floor. Johnathon grabbed him by the back of the shirt and sat him in his desk. Johnathon then went to the front of the classroom and took the ruler and and wrote some things on the board.

"Alroight, toime for a history lesson Schrody." said Johnathon. Schrodinger looked up and rested his chin on his desk. "A long toime ago, King Henry the Eighth of England had most of his woives executed because of the fact that he couldn't get a divorce because he wasn't having any suns. Now, in Catholicism, married couples aren't allowed to get divorced because it is an act against God to leave the one that you swore an eternal bond over." said Johnathon, pointing at a heart on the board. "Now, when he finally wrote to the Vatican, Henry the Eighth begged the Pope to let he and his wife be divorced. Naturally, the Pope pretty much told him absolutely not. So, eventually, Henry the Eighth broke England away from the Catholic Church, and established a new branch of Christianity, whoile naming himself the leader of it." said Johnathon, pointing at a cross and a crown. "Now, that wasn't a problem for a short toime in Ireland, but, naturally, the power of the Episcopalians grew and their influence spread like a woild foire. Eventually, England wanted to have Ireland, and the Irish, of course, didn't want anything to do with it. So, when England invaded the north of Ireland, the Catholics responded very voilently." said Johnathon, pointing at a drawing of an oval that had a G3 rifle under the letters IRA. "And that's why we, The Irish, hate protestant whores such as yourself."

"I'm not a protestant." said Schrodinger.

"Oh, really. If you were Catholic you would be on yer fuckin knees prayin fer yer forgiveness roight now." said Edward.

"I vould pray, but I don't sink I can do so vithout vomiting all over zhe floor." said Schrodinger.

"Oh, roight. Sorry about that lad. But you have to admit, you were beggin to get hit there. You know it, and Oi know it." said Johnathon.

"Now, it is being my turn for a history lesson." said Desmond. He went to the board and erased what Johnathon had up there. "A long time ago, Russia was a peaceful capitalist nation. The only problem was being that the capitalists in power were withholding money from the people and wouldn't let anyone get any money, despite the fact that they had worked for it. So, there was a man named Vladimir Lenin who rose up, and encouraged the people to overthrow the government." said Desmond, pointing at a crossed sickle and hammer. "Then in world war two, Adolf Hitler attacked out glorious Motherland even when he had a peace agreement with them. They marauded and raped their way through our Motherland. That is why I hate dirty fascist pricks, such as yourself." said Desmond.

Schrodinger put his head on the desk and waited for Kyle to go up. When he realized that no one was up there, he looked at Kyle.

"What?" asked Kyle.

"Aren't you going to go up zhere unt make me eat my words vith how I should feel sorry for you?" asked Schrodinger.

"No." said Kyle.

"Vhy not?" asked Schrodinger.

"I just don't like the fact that they can't wait their fucking turns and the goddamn drug cartels that also work around the system." said Kyle. Schrodinger put his head back on the desk and whimpered for a little bit.

"Okay lad, are we done cause we gotta prepare for the next chapter of Cyclonian Public Enemies." said Johnathon. Schrodinger put his head on the desk and nodded.

* * *

**Wow, I would have thought that they would have learned some kind of manners. Oh well. Until next time I suppose.**

**Me: ****Did you really have to hit him there?**

**Johnathon: What, it was his fault! Besides, I could survoive something loike that and so can he. Get up Schrody!**

**Schrodinger: Coming, I'll be zhere in a second. (Crawls to the two).  
**

**Me: (Face palms). Ugh, fine. Just be ready for the next one alright.**

**Johnathon: (Salutes mastermind123). Yessir. Schrody get yer arse off the ground for God's sake.  
**


End file.
